So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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