I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's always time for handjobs
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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