lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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