I'm pants shitting drunk right now
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
