I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
