we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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