ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
