Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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