Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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