I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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