I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
