You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
