so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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