She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
