I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
