Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
