I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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