Your tits are I can't wait for
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
