As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
