Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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