if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
