Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
