you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize