Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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