I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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