STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
