i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
