it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i now understand why vodka
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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