HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
