i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
