ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
