i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just cropdusted the office
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize