Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
