They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
