I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize