thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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