You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
