When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
