i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
