Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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