Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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