We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize