I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
