This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
