Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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