My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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