Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
