Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
