Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
