I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
