JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
