Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
