i permit you to call me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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