I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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