i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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