If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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