im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
should my penis look like a turkey
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
