I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
