I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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