so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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