the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
