We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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