she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
