Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
